How to get as many shootings as possible

OK, I'm very sentimental in some ways and totally not in others. Sentiment aside, in the wake of the VA Tech massacre, I wonder how many deranged, cowardly egomaniacs there are out there, and how close they are to going over the edge. We want, desperately want, NONE of them to go over the edge, right? But let's be contrarian (bear with me), and think about how we could help them flip if for some reason we wanted that.

First, lower every flag in the country to half-staff. This way, every place our hypothetical nut-job looks, he sees a monument to the LAST nut-job. "Wow," he thinks, "All over the country, everybody's attention is on that guy. That could be ME!"

Second, make sure that the photos and videos the last guy left are abundantly posted and broadcast. That way our nut-job can see macho pix of the previous nut-job waving pistols and looking tough and mean and in charge. "Wow," he'll think, "I could look that mean. And everyone would see it!"

Third, do everything possible to make sure that no one at any school would be able to resist this wack-job coward, and make sure he knows it. Post signs at all the schools ensuring every passer-by that there are no guns present, at least, not until he brings his. Talk a lot about communication. He's crazy, but not an idiot. He knows we'll be sending emails while he's emptying clips, and he's got to like that arithmetic.

Wait! How amazing! We're already DOING all of these things! What a surprise! So, I don't know, maybe a hundred, maybe a thousand, maybe ten thousand little wannabes are currently taking their Ritalin, putting on Slayer, and thinking it over.

Hmm. Taking it all into consideration, maybe we don't want the things we say we want. Maybe we want a soft-hearted public image if we're politicians, ratings if we're networks, and a feel-good weapons policy rather than one that would prevent violence.

Is God judging us? Nope. We're saving Him the effort.