You know that uneasy feeling when you say something careless about person A to person B? Like it didn't exactly represent how you really feel about A, and you hope it won't get back to them? Or when you complain to B about A, saying things you would not say to A's face?

Well, by a magical rule, the more you want it to not get back to A, the more likely it is to do so. It's because the juicier or more sensational the thing is, that you said to B, the more power it confers on B. And B, being a human, will probably use it. (I guess the technical term is "Gossip".)

Two part lesson. Part I: pretend that everyone hears everything you say.

Part II: because, practically speaking, they do. The more it matters that something stay bottled up, the more unlikely it is to stay bottled up. You'd better count on it getting around.

You can pretty much assume that everyone hears everything you say, as far as it matters. Learning to act this way is a lifelong job and I think I'm still on square one.