I talked, in an earlier note, how family is forever whether you like it or not. Trying to figure out how to deal with them can consume a lot of you. And keeping the peace can consume a lot. BEING at peace is well worth it, if peace is possible. Paul says to be at peace with people as far as it is in your power, and this advice is enormously practical and wise.

I want to talk about the "as far as it is in your power" part. I guess, theoretically, you can be at peace with anyone. Just do everything they say and give them everything they want. Of course, this can make peace in the relationship, but YOU are unlikely to be at peace. You will be stewing, right?

So, to get real peace, both sides need to understand each other, and each is likely to have to give something. If the other side won't do one or more of those two things, then you are back to Paul's advice: do all that YOU can, and leave it there with a good conscience.

I had a controversy with my family, one sibling in particular, and the blocker was that he was not willing to concede even a particle of truth to any of my complaints. Zero. So we couldn't even get to give and take. The official line was that nothing at all was wrong, except that I was crazy for thinking otherwise.

I bring this up because you may not have enough life experience so far to realize just how valuable your father's admissions are. He actually concedes wrong and says he has to change. You may or may not be seeing any change, or enough change, but because of what he said, you can call him on that. There is an avenue for progress. There is ground for discussion. You can even call in others to help if he does not seem to listen or hear, because he has committed to this. This is just amazing. You're going to have plenty of conflicts with people in your life-- we all do-- but you are not going to see something like this very often. Don't waste it, esp with such high stakes. Take advantage of this. Do the hard thing.