(No, as a matter of fact I
am unlikely to ever run out)
One day in the 1980s when we lived in Kirkland I was all suited up and ready to
go out into the awful commute to the job I hated. Nancy asked "How do you
feel?" I looked at her like she was crazy. "How do I FEEL? What does
that have to do with anything?"
The point at the moment being that I had a wonderful wife and 3 fabulous kids
to support, and you do what you gotta do, not what you feel like. That's how
adults act. Now, that makes adulthood sound pretty grimy, but bear two things
in mind: first, the package came with wife and kids and was well worth it.
Second, while doing what you feel and not what you should appeals more in the
short run, after people are some way into their lives, the do-what-you-should
people are generally glad, and the do-what-you-feel people are generally
regretful. And the only score that counts is the one at the end of the game. I
didn't believe that at your age; I know it now, though.
If you work much with "disadvantaged" people, you'll discover that
they are pretty sketchy for showing up for appointments or tutoring or keeping
commitments in general. The reason is that they are ruled too much by feelings
and not enough by their minds. So, when it's time to do something and they
don't feel like it, they don't. Causing them to drown in their own waste,
pretty much.
In many cases, I think, they have had such awful trauma or experiences that
their feelings are ringing in them like a gong and are very hard to master--
harder than for more fortunate people. But failing to master feelings is what
keeps them trapped.
Movement and repose. You can feel OK because of the repose. But movement is
your job.