Bob: So Jim, got any plans for the weekend?

Jim: Yeah, Bob, I’m gonna have some fun!

B: Fun? (jesting) What kind of fun?

J: Well… Sandy’s out of town and… (lowers voice) YOU wanna have some fun?

B: (lower, daring, jesting) Just what do you have in mind?

J: I know of this club downtown… you go after dark…. The door is in the back…and you can watch them….

B: Watch them? Watch who? Watch what??

J: Watch them EAT SANDWICHES!

B: (silent pause) Huh!?

J: Yeah! Really!!

B: Eat sandwiches? Are you kidding?
J: (not understanding) Not kidding at all. Dead serious. It is INCREDIBLE.

B: Uh, Jim, don’t YOU eat sandwiches?

J: Yeah, but-

B: In the comfort of your own home?

J: This is DIFFERENT.

B: Different how? A sandwich is a sandwich, isn’t it?
J: Oh, never mind. A prude like you couldn’t understand.

B: No, bear with me. I don’t get it.

J: Well… you get somebody up on the stage, and there they are, with food, right in front of God and everybody. Somebody ELSE, get it? With somebody ELSE’s food!

B: Doesn’t Sandy make you sandwiches? How can watching someone else eat be better than eating your own self?

J: Oh, it gets better. Last month they let me lick a tomato! And sometimes two people eat the SAME SANDWICH. And sometimes one person eats two sandwiches at once! And some of the people are really really fat! Wow! It’s incredible!

B: …so, you’re saying that you like sandwiches-

J: Well, yeah! Doesn’t everybody? Don’t YOU!

B: Well, sure. But how can you compare eating a sandwich to watching someone else eat a sandwich? It’s not any of your business. It’s not even a real experience.

J: That’s what’s great about it. And it gets better!

B: Um, OK, shoot.

J: After awhile people stop eating food!

B: Uh, and that’s…. good?

J: NO! They eat OTHER THINGS!

B: Other things?

J: I watched a guy eat two pounds of gravel last week. I almost passed out.

B: Jim, I’m starting to worry about you…

J: I have a DVD of this eato-star who can pack down two bowling trophies and a birdhouse. Sometimes when Sandy’s away I watch it ten times in a row.

B: Jim, uh, do you know what eating is FOR?

J: Oh, here we go with the whole goody-goody thing.

B: No, it’s to stay ALIVE. And it’s a wonderful social event. How can you get off on sitting in a dark room, hungry, watching somebody else eat something that isn’t even food? What’s up with that?

J: It’s judgmental people like you who take all the fun out of life.

B: Hey, Jim, live your life if you have to. Spend your savings on-

J: Who told you I spent my savings on eatography?

B: (gulp) You what?? Never mind. I’m just saying that when you can enjoy a real sandwich with your wonderful wife, all this stuff you’re talking about doesn’t seem to make any sense.

J: FINE! Stay home this weekend! Eat some toast or—or-- schlep up some pathetic celery or something! Knock yourself out with a can of chili! But I’ll be out there living the real life!

You can get a large audience together to watch a girl undress on stage. Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theater by simply bringing a covered plate onstage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let everyone see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a piece of bacon… would you not think that something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? CS Lewis, Mere Christianity