Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore.

This is the fascinating story of the Unity Reformed Church. Its genesis lay in a disenchantment with the controversies that frequently rock and split the Reformed world. Founded in 1999, it was composed of 50 congregations that left 9 other Reformed denominations to band together in the name of Unity. The church took Psalm 133 as its touchstone and each pastor agreed to preach through the Psalm over the course of the next year.

Trouble arose immediately. Some congregations considered it pleasant to dwell together in unity here and now. Others pointed out that reformed people really aren’t very pleasant, and hanging around with them is largely a duty. This party insisted that the pleasantness must be a future one, and within a month had broken off 6 congregations to form the Teleological Unity Reformed Church.

Undeterred, Mother Kirk soldiered on. But there soon was a difference of opinion on the meaning of “Unity”. Certain parties insisted that this refers to the Church Universal and Triumphant. But dispensationalist pundits insisted that it is impossible to have unity with members of other dispensations, so it must only be in the here-and-now. In a short, sharp shock, 11 more congregations broke off, forming the Dispensational Unity Reformed Church. A footnote, here, is too intriguing to pass over. A controversy immediately arose in the new church, between those who felt that members of other dispensations were hell-bound, and those who simply thought that they had to go to different heavens. A regrettable series of incidents ensued, including the pie-in-the-face fiasco outside Westminster Seminary, the Escondido paintball gun ambush, and best of all, the appearance of the entire Presbytery on the Dr. Phil show to iron out their differences. After a frank exchange of opinions Dr. Phil was elected moderator, and the broken furniture was paid for. But the Dispensational Unity Reformed Church never really recovered.

Meanwhile, the remaining 33 congregations of the original church continued to explore the joys of unity. By mid-2001 it had split into the Unity Reformed Church in America, the Protestant Unity Reformed Church, the Cinnamon-free Ointment Unity Reformed Church, and, best of all, the Literal Unity Reformed Church. This latter organization, composed of 30 people who are deeply committed to Unity, moved to Israel and founded a commune on Mount Hermon. They sell bottled dew on the web and have declared that they intend to keep the Lord’s promise to live forevermore. They are trying to weather a controversy over the meaning of “forevermore.” One group has taken up quarters in the barn and one in the wellhouse, from which locations they are engaging in ecumenical dialog. And throwing eggs.

In 2002 the lone remaining congregation in the Unity Reformed Church managed to draw most of the other organizations together for a conference on Evangelism. There was limited success, as everyone did agree that conversion of a lost, desperate world was of paramount importance. However, one luckless delegate suggested that a converted world would enjoy unity. The ensuing discussion quickly devolved into a food fight, then a fist fight. A plenary session in the local emergency room was well-attended but not fruitful.

Traumatized over this very disappointing turn of events, the Unity Reformed Church’s single congregation split amid recriminations. There was a nasty fight over the church’s property in Lansing, Michigan. Happily, this was solved when the title deed was turned over to the Muslim imam of Dearborn, who symbolically leases the church to the two parties on alternating Sundays. The imam said he was happy he could help.